TFS# 9; Tech Free Teens take to the road.

We got the call Friday afternoon. Seeing my uncle’s number appear on my cell phone immediately brought a sense of dread. I looked at the name and the number on my cell phone and was tempted not to answer. My grandmother was placed in hospice care about 3 weeks ago and so I thought I might rather hear the news my uncle was calling to deliver via the voice mail, but I tentatively answered the phone anyway. “Hello”? My uncle asked if I was sleeping. I said, “No I just saw your name and number and I am prepared for the worst, what is it”? He told me that she was bad, and getting worse and didn’t have much time left. So if there can be anything fortunate about the death of a loved one, my kids being on Spring Break this week made traveling North immediately not only possible, but not the least bit inconvenient. I waited for the kids to get home from school on Friday, we packed the ‘big rig’ (my moose killing Suburban) and left NC at almost 10 pm. I prefer to take this nine hour drive at night when there is less traffic and the kids are more likely to sleep in the car rather than purposefully annoy each other the entire ride.

They packed their pillows and a blanket, wearing comfy clothes and got all their gadgets charged up for the ride. At midnight I said that all devices needed to be turned off and it was time to sleep. My youngest of course fought this tooth and nail, meanwhile waking anyone who had been sleeping in the process. We arrived at Grammy’s at 7 am Saturday morning, I took a nap and then we all went to see my grandmother. When we got back I had to lay down for a few minutes and when I got up  all 5 kids AND my mother were on their own tech devices, either a laptop, a cell phone or an iPod. I marveled at the sight. -Visiting Grandma and face-timing each other wile sitting beside each other on the sofa. If there had been any doubt as to whether or not we would be going tech-free on Sunday, the answer was clear: ABSOLUTELY! My youngest sister brought two of her kids of to spend the night with their cousins and her significant other walked into the room and said, “wow, everyone has their own gadget going on and is in their own world”. Yes! Uncle W, thank you for your astute observation…. There is no bedtime at Grammy’s house, and so at midnight I asked one of the boys to go around to all the other kids and collect the gadgets in a cat food box my mother had been getting ready to recycle.

My mother took 7 children to church Sunday morning, so while the house was empty, and before I went to spend time with my grandmother I had to hide 5 laptops, 5 cellphones, 5 iPod’s and one PSP. Before we left the oldest asked if Grammy had ‘veto power’ on the Tech-Free Sunday concept and I said, “NO”! -knowing full well that of course she did, she could feed them pure sugar cane all day long if she wanted to, but instead my mother and all the kids went for a hike after church, and spent the rest of the day playing outside on a five story playground they call ‘the castle’. I was sure it was going to be difficult for my mother who proudly proclaims to anyone who will listen, that she is a ‘web master’. When I had gotten up from my rest on Saturday evening and she and my daughter were ‘face timing’ on their iPod Touches, while sitting next to each other on the sofa I thought we would meet some resistance, there really wasn’t any. When I got home Sunday night from my grandmother’s house they were playing the boys against the girls in a game of “Catch Phrase” and proudly announced that they had found all the laptops. My mother defiantly told me she knew where the cell phones were as if I had been hiding them from her too. I wondered how long they searched before they found everything. They told me they had baked ziti for dinner and made brownies for desert and oddly to me it appeared that they embraced Tech-Free Sunday and I think were proud of themselves for it. They had a great day and didn’t complain about not having access to their worlds.

Another successful TFS, I think, even though I wasn’t there to monitor; but no one died and so we will do it again next Sunday.

Tech-Free Sunday # 8; I think we might be getting the hang of this!!!

I have found that we really are adjusting to our Tech-Free Sunday. The kids no longer complain, they know what to expect, that is not to say that I don’t catch them trying to cheat, but in my opinion our little social experiment has made each of us more aware of how much time we spend interacting online or via text etc, and in certain children I have noticed an improved attitude while tech-free, and in other children I have noticed less time spent during the rest of the week, and then there is the sneak factor as there is with anything forbidden….. (more on that later) We had a very busy day… my son decided that we should have steak on the grill for dinner, which was nice and easy, so that made getting our rooms clean, all the laundry done possible (sort of) I AM SO GONNA VEER OFF HERE:

For as long as I have been a parent (13 years) I have been trying to get all the laundry done; it’s is IMPOSSIBLE! Have you ever noticed that?  I mean, I will even take off what I am wearing and do one final load after I have asked everyone if they have any dirty laundry just so the hamper will be empty. I have this weird obsession with the completion of this task – I know it’s futile, but I think I have some kind of OCD issue with it, which is ridiculous I KNOW…which leaves me standing naked in front of the washing machine with that happy feeling that IT’S ALL DONE, when I have to grab something to cover myself, quickly take a shower and make some more clothes dirty?! Logic? -there isn’t any! Meanwhile: when I get back to throw the final load in the dryer, the hamper is FULL and overflowing again! How is this possible? -this is what I call “the laundry ambush”! I hate the laundry ambush!!!  Someone was half-listening when I asked if all the dirty laundry was in the laundry room, then when they can’t find a clean pair of underwear they finally bring me every article of clothing they own! GAH! As I said it is never done… back to our Sunday -sorry about the detour:

So we changed sheets yesterday, because it didn’t get done on Saturday and we did our chores, because they didn’t get done on Saturday either, and then we went “in to town” (that’s what us country folk say) to go shopping. Only because we HAD to: every morning before school (for a week) my son had been taping the sole back on to his favorite pair of shoes, we also had to buy a new color cartridge for the printer (which is half the price of a brand new printer! I am tempted to buy a new printer every other time I have to change the cartridge) so an English project could be printed. Let me say right here that I am not a fan of shopping in general. I like the “veni, vidi, vici” method, but that is not possible with a 13-year-old girl on the hunt for an 8th grade formal dress. Lucky for me, (heah in tha south) everything closes at 5 pm on Sundays, so our time was restricted by the Bible. I was never so grateful! We got our steaks, got home, ate, cleaned up and just lounged around… did I mention that I have a PETA card carrying 11-year-old? Yes I do, so we didn’t ALL eat red meat, with our baked potato and salad; one of us had a veggie burger. 🙂 (as if you care)

I wanted to mention here that I take my cell phone with me when I leave the house on these days. I do leave it in the car when I go into a store, but I check it when I get back in the car just in case of an emergency. The idea of Tech-Free Sunday was more a lesson for my children who were constantly connected with their friends and spending less and less time with family even when they were at home. They weren’t listening; an important part of having a conversation, which I found rude as well as frustrating. I wanted one day where it really was, family day and to remind the kids that there are other things to do besides texting. The importance of learning manners while being so overly-connected is a difficult concept to teach; ‘PUT THE PHONE DOWN, please step away from the phone’! I was constantly having to say, so I declared Tech-Free Sunday. One person mentioned not having a land-line and if that is the case and you want to try tech-free you can always change your recording on your cell to say something like; ‘ I am spending time with my family today and will be unavailable by cell phone, please text me in an emergency’, and then just check your phone every hour or so… Going tech-free for one day a week is not necessary for every family, but I thought it was for ours. There definitely has been a change for the better for us, and if you want to try it do what ever feels right for you and your family. I think going tech-free is just as challenging, if not more, for adults… I recommend everyone try it even if it’s only for a few hours, the world will not stop I promise!

And so….. another Tech-Free Sunday, where no one died for lack of gadget, therefore we will do it again, next week…. 🙂

If you’re gonna do Tech-Free Sunday -Do it your way!

While I was at my daughter’s soccer game a mom came up to me and told me that their family was going to try Tech-Free Sunday tomorrow too, and she asked if we watch TV and I said, no WE don’t, but it doesn’t mean you can’t. We do listen to radio, and while cooking we have listened to iPod’s thru an iHome; where each kid got to share their personal genre with the family, that way my “Hollywood Undead” lovin’ daughter didn’t kill my “Cat Stevens” lovin’ son and vice versa. My thought is no personal devices requiring ear buds taking you away from interacting with your family. I think if your family is going to try it, you should try it in a way that makes you comfortable.  The first time you try it you might feel miserably Amish, (I’m not worried about offending the Amish since they shouldn’t be reading this blog) but remember they don’t have electricity or running water and that should help keep things perspective. We still use our electricity and of course running water as well as motorized vehicles, and it still isn’t easy. Another mom told me their family might try it too and she asked if I give up alcohol on this day too… I laughed, and won’t tell you exactly what I said, but I will say that there is always wine served with dinner…(The day I had to listen to Hollywood Undead for a half hour  -ummmm, no I don’t give up alcohol on this day of all days.) I might be crazy, but I’m not THAT crazy! This mom said she wasn’t interested in doing all that cooking together stuff, which is absolutely fine. I just happen to have a son who loves to cook and I am learning to enjoy the company in the kitchen while I prepare dinner.  However, I must say that the first two times I had “help” in the kitchen I secretly wanted to pull my hair out because I had to think of things for them to do instead of just doing it myself like I usually do, which was just as hard for me as it was for them, but I have come to enjoy it and rely on their help. Remember before, everyone was off in their own worlds texting, or chatting, or what-evering and I was alone in the kitchen cooking, then I would call them for dinner, and it was like a bunch of strangers showed up at the table to scarf down their meals and hurry back off to their own worlds again.

Since I talked to two people about it today I thought I might do a quick “Saturday Evening Post” about it just in case your family is thinking of trying it. A fun way to start is by having everyone in the family make a list of 101 things  to do when your bored, and share it with each other, these lists can be pretty funny, but also something to refer to when you are feeling lost without your cell phone. If you are stuck indoors I suggest board games, cards, we played word games with the thesaurus, we tried a debate (EPIC FAIL), we talk a lot, we have given facials and even tried ear coning. When I was growing up, we did a lot of puppet shows, plays, we had marionettes and would do performances, we made up commercials… you are only as limited as your imagination, make it up as you go. As the weather has gotten a bit warmer the kids are spending more time outside, where they can hula hoop, ride bicycles, play wiffle ball, play tag, blow bubbles, go fishing, give the dog a bath, do a treasure hunt or whatever.  A lot of our day seems to be spent planning, shopping for and preparing for our family meal, which I do like to get everyone involved in. It gives the family a sense of community, it makes me feel more a part of that community rather than just the laborer, and I think the kids really like being in charge of a particular part of the meal for example, put one in charge of dessert and another in charge of the salad and give them a stack of cook books, they have to do that in the morning so that there is time to shop for ingredients. I understand why the whole cooking thing might sound like too much, but if you’re feeling brave think of it as putting a book (a cookbook) in their hands first thing in the morning, it uses math skills (because with a family our size we have to double or triple recipes),  attention to detail is required to read the recipes and follow directions and teaches life skills at the same time, but if you are going to try it, do what feels right for you and your family.

Side note: Today my youngest went to her friends house to play for the afternoon and I asked that she leave her cell phone and her iPod at home. I told her it was rude to text other friends while she was spending time with one friend, this is the first time I have done this, but I think it will be a another new standing rule. I told her that if she needed to call me that I know that their family has a home phone and they have cell phones and I have all those numbers, and guess what when I got there the two girls had been riding a tandem bicycle and were talking face to face, with nothing in their hands . My daughter’s face and hands and legs were dirty like an 11-year-old who spent all day outside should look, I am excited, a dirty kid means it was a good day in my book!

Thank you S. for having her and our next lesson will be making eye contact when thanking someone for having you, and sounding like you mean it!

Life happens too quickly sometimes.

This post is going to be kind of Random, but I had a friend pass away suddenly yesterday morning from a heart attack. He was in his late seventies, but the age of a person really doesn’t matter when you lose someone you love. His wife is devastated and keeps replaying her last evening with him by repeating what they talked about, what they did, how they had eaten dinner outside on their new “Tuscan picnic table”, and how she had made him sit with her on the hammock in their ‘secret’ garden. She said he didn’t really want to of course, but she made him. It made me giggle inside that “at their age” they still enjoyed moments like that up til the very last moment. He was very accommodating and he did whatever she asked, and sometimes she asked a lot; sometimes he would do it quietly and sometimes he would make his opinions known, but he knew that his words would fall on deaf ears and so he did as his bride asked. He was a wonderful man, he loved a cold beer and loved someone to share one with, he also love a good glass of scotch, and he loved to share that as well. If you went to their home you knew you would be there a while, because you couldn’t have just one glass of wine while you chatted, he made sure your glass was never empty. Even after you had said, “no thank you, I’ve had enough”. He would refill your glass and grin the most wonderful, toothy, devilish grin you’ve ever seen and say, “awwwww, just one more”. I’m sure there must have been someone somewhere along the way who was able to resist his charms, but I couldn’t. There really is no other way to describe him other than to say that he was a wonderful man. His wife would often complain about him and the way he did this or that, but he was a man of few words, however there was a sparkle in his eye; he loved his wife, although she will say he never told her so, but he worried about her non-stop and you could see in his eyes that he thought she was the most beautiful woman on Earth.

They have 3 daughters and 1 son, and if I tried I might be able to count how many grandchildren and I think 2 great-grandchildren, but they always had more than enough love to take in more. I remember the first day I met her; I was new to North Carolina, and a single mother with three young children stands out I guess, especially in a town as small as the one we live in. Since I really didn’t know many people I was surprised when someone knocked on my door, but when I answered the door there she was; like a tornado and a ray of sunshine all rolled into one! I told her I was painting my family room  and the house was a mess, but I invited her in anyway. I put down my paintbrush and she sat down and started chatting as if I had known her all my life. She invited my daughter to come play with her granddaughter, and from that point forward it was as if my children and I were part of their family. When I went to her home yesterday, after hearing the news, I got to see (as I had already known) that I was not the only one; there were so many people there for her, people that both of them had loved, and fed, and had sit at their bar or by their pool. What an amazing family they are; of that family he was the quieter member, but had no less impact on me, I loved him and I knew that he cared for me too. His wife will go on, but at the moment she doesn’t know how, and there is nothing that you can say to someone who has lost a love that will have any real meaning, they must grieve. Death is the final part of the cycle of life, which is so difficult for those left grieving to grasp. Most people hope to die of old age, while others don’t have that much time. Regardless of how little or how much time a person has on this planet a death always makes me question the meaning of life. The best that I have ever come up with is that life is short, sometimes too short, but it’s about the experiences you have and the people you share them with. I always say that after one generation a person’s existence really doesn’t matter anymore, but I guess the point is that it mattered at all.

Death often broadens my perspective, it makes me want to worry less and love more. It makes me want to hug my children and be there for the people I love when they need me, because life is not guaranteed. Sometimes we become so self-absorbed, and involved in our daily routines and problems, that we fail to see the greater picture, which is that this is the only chance we’re going to get, so might as well make it count. Don’t hold back a hug, don’t hold on to anger or money for that matter (you can’t take it with you). Live life generously in every sense of the word, be a ray of sunshine wrapped in a tornado, impact people, love people, care for them, cherish them with the full knowledge that tomorrow is not a given. Sit in the hammock, eat every meal like it’s your last and make it at a Tuscan picnic table if you can!  I have to go watch my daughter play soccer now, but please enjoy the time you have with the people you love. Cheers!

Has YOUR child lied about their age to join a social networking site?

Were you aware that they lied? Did you help them set up the account? If so I recommend you read the article below and reconsider your decision.

 

Facebook Users Who Are Under Age Raise Concerns

 

When I read the article linked above I was startled by what I learned, which was quite a bit. According to this article, “Internet companies have set up the rules against under-age users because they must comply with the federal Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act, passed in 1998, which says Web sites that collect information from children younger than 13 must obtain parental consent.” I was also alarmed by the problems for the underage boy who was ‘friended’ by a poser classmate and had his photos linked to sexually explicit websites, but not until his name started showing up in Google searches did anyone notice. I don’t know about you, but this scares the bejesus out of me! Two out of my three children have Facebook accounts, but I made them wait until they were 13, which in my opinion is still a little young to be exposed to some of the content even on their own parent’s pages; for example photographs from the old fraternity days, do you really think it is okay for your child to see you stoned out of your gourd or drunk off your a$$? What messages are the youngest users getting from their parents, cousins, other family members or contacts who are shown in countless photographs of underage drinking?

Another problem is that today’s parents have a lot on their plates and it is very difficult to monitor all of the online access that our children have. I allowed my twins to sign up for Facebook accounts when they turned 13, but most of their friends already had accounts (my kids are the youngest in their class, but still there are teacher’s children who have been on Facebook for years, whom I happen to know were not 13 when they opened their accounts). I mentioned in a few earlier posts about banning my 11 year-old daughter from Sketchfu, which sounds like it should be relatively harmless site, but as I mentioned there was a chat feature, and she had people on her friends list that she did not know. Initially she was banned for her own inappropriate use of foul language, but it wasn’t until I did a little research that I found out that even Sketchfu has an age limit of 13. So when I confronted my  11 year-old about this, and asked her how old she said she was on her account, she told me that she lied and said she was 14.   I was disturbed by her having access to and/or being in an online environment posing as a 14 year old. I wish I could find some medical or scientific statistics on the extremes between the maturity levels of an 11 year-old and a 14 year-old, but since I have an 11 year-old and a 13 year-old I can tell you that at times it seems as though they are 10 years apart.

Once I found out there was an age limit for that site I told her that just as she does not have a Facebook account, she is not allowed to have a Sketchfu account until she is 13, but I know for a fact that she has been back to the Sketchfu site since I banned her, I just haven’t caught her. It is horrifying that it is so difficult to be vigilant when a child’s ease of access to these sites can even be had from their iPod Touch. Out of fear for my daughter, I want to post a warning statement on these websites that say, ‘please beware that there may be under age users on this site who have lied about their age, so keep your content on a 6th grade level’, but that interferes with an adult’s First Amendment rights, while trying to protect my child.

What is the answer? How many people use the parental controls on their computers? I have to tell you that on my last laptop I tried to activate them just under my kids log-in ID and I couldn’t even check my email when I logged in as me (and I am the administrator), it was a nightmare, so I finally had to turn it off. I am no computer genius obviously, but there are parents out there who know far less than I do that have no idea what there kids are up to, and if they did they would have no way of knowing how to manage it, because I too am at a loss. I have asked many parents and kids what the tech-rules are in their homes just to get an idea of what others are doing to battle this epidemic. I have borrowed some other parent’s rules and made them my own, but how do we protect children whose parent’s don’t even know they need to be protected? I guess we start with trying to manage it in our own homes and hope that blogs like this one and articles like the one linked to the New York Times above will help make people more aware.

Follow the ‘yellow brick road’ to where again?

What do you do when you know you aren’t in ‘Kansas’ anymore and you have no idea how to get to ‘Oz’?

Today has been an interesting day; have you ever noticed how ‘polite’ people use the word ‘interesting’ to replace a more negatively sounding word?! My day started out by over-sleeping, I woke up exactly 1 hour too late…. damn time change! Yesterday we were fine, but not this morning…. so of course this puts everyone slightly on edge when your mother wakes you in that ‘OMG-we’ve-already-missed-the-bus-and-are-going-to-be-tardy tone’! Of course my son is ready in 5 minutes, I doubt he brushed his teeth, but he say’s, “I’ll be waiting in the car” -very efficient.  Meanwhile my youngest had 2 bowls of cereal in the amount of time it took my 13 year old daughter (who had to shower and put on make-up) to get ready in a hurry!

Are you still with me? Okay good, because my son was waiting in the car for 20 minutes and honking the horn the entire time, as if I had forgotten that we had someplace to be, meanwhile I made him (and his twin sister) an English Muffin with butter and strawberry jam, so they would have something in their stomach to start the day, because moms are just like that! So we get in the car and I hand the twins their muffins and my daughter says, “mom did you write that note to my English teacher”?

PLEASE NOTE: Last night this same daughter left a note on my laptop; the note was written to her English teacher, and it said something like: ‘Dear Mrs So’n So, Please excuse my daughter for submitting her online assignment 1 hour and 15 minutes late bla bla bla….’ Right beside the note was a blank piece of paper and a pen, with which I was expected to write this note to her teacher. Now I will say, that in the past I have written a note when I knew for a fact that my daughter had been working diligently on a project and something unfortunate happened, but that was not the case this time. This time, she spent her entire Saturday watching episode after episode of “Grey’s Anatomy” on Netflix, and on Sunday I put in plenty of personal time on the Atom model project, but I had not heard one single thing about this English assignment so I am assuming that she forgot about it. Now let’s return to this morning in the car on the way to school…

I respond to the question, “No M, I did not write a note to your teacher.” Indignantly, she spats that she will now be getting a lower grade because of me! To which I respond (calmly I might add), ‘how this is a lesson in organization, and time-management, and that if I had seen her working diligently on the project as her letter to her teacher indicated, then I might have written the letter, but this was not the case. If she knew that she had an English deadline and an Atom Project, then she should have worked on one on Saturday and one on Sunday. A deadline is a deadline, and she won’t be learning anything if I write a note to her teacher, because ultimately she is accountable. If she watched TV all day Saturday and knew about the assignment, then she is irresponsible (which I know is not the case, she is normally extremely conscientious), but if she forgot about the assignment, then she needs to use her agenda to become more organized and manage her time better’…. meanwhile I can feel (what I call) “death glare” penetrating the back of my skull, so I turn around and I say, “I’m sorry honey, but I wouldn’t be doing you any favors by writing the note, so please understand and to eat your muffin so you have something in your belly.”

“I hate English Muffins”, she spats.

“Oh since when? I think I saw you eat one covered in Hollandaise Sauce and Eggs Bene on Saturday”

“I hate them plain”, she says.

To which I reply (still calmly, I might add), “perfect honey, because this one has butter and strawberry jam on it, just take a bite please.”

So I happen to glance into the backseat, as she pinches a crumb off the edge of the muffin and angrily shoves it in her mouth…… skreeeeeeeeeeetch …… into the ‘suicide lane’ we come to a dead-stop… I am no longer calm, in case you were wondering. I say, “it will be a mistake for you to behave this way.” And suddenly out of no where, like a polite southern child she says, “Yes ma’am” and takes a bite, so I wait for traffic to pass and I pull back on to the road … Since I am all Yankee,  I set a very poor example of “polite southern ways”, but in a pinch a “yes ma’am” will come out of one of my children and will put them on the path to recovery instantaneously.  All three of my kids have had issues with homework in the past week, so as I continue to drive I drone on with my lecture about homework, which even I don’t remember because I am so tired of hearing myself talk… I pull into the school and try to salvage the morning, with ‘I love you(s)’ and ‘have a good day’ darlings….

So what I NEED TO KNOW IS: Since I can’t get back to ‘Kansas’ (the days before puberty) how do I find the ‘yellow brick road’ and stay on this path to ‘Oz’ (a time when we will be from the same planet again). You are probably wondering by now if I sprinkled LSD on my fiber bran cereal this morning, and the answer of course is no, but again I ask you; why kids don’t come with manuals? EVERYTHING ELSE DOES! To simplify this for you (for me, really) I will say that there are times, between the lessons of ‘Tech Free Sunday’ and using a late homework assignment as a lesson in personal accountability/responsibility, that I feel lost. Times when I imagine what Velma must feel like when she loses her glasses on ScoobyDoo, as I fumble around blindly trying to raise intelligent, productive human beings, by limiting their tech time and not writing notes to their teachers? I might be the cause of a new type of Bulimia: “Techno-Bulimia” for all I know, where my kids binge for 6 days of the week because I made them purge on Sunday, and then because I didn’t write this one note my daughter doesn’t get into Harvard and hates me for the rest of her life. Am I being overly dramatic  or is parenting really the most difficult thing I will ever do? This post feels like my lecture in the car this morning; I think I just rambled on for hours, about nothing, but who knows, maybe you got something out of it, let’s hope so! 🙂

“I’ll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too!”

~ The Wicked Witch of the West

 

 

 

 

TFS #7:Today had one less hour so WHY did it seem like the longest day of my life?

Today was TFS #7; a beautiful sunny day!

Mom’s Activities:

• Go to Craft Store to Shop for Uranium Atom Project, a Model car, and a Manga Drawing Kit
• Go to Fresh Market to shop for Sunday Dinner Ingredients
• Go to World Market to shop for Sunday Dinner Ingredients
• Cook Sunday Dinner
• “Help” with design and production of one Uranium Atom Model.
• Edit English Paper
• Try to finish a cocktail before all the ice melted.
• Try to remember to be grateful! 🙂

Kid’s Activities:

• Lounge on Hammock
• Hula Hooping
• Log Rolling (seriously they tried to walk on a log in the back yard)
• Play Frisbee
• Play Wiffle Ball
• Write a list of 101 things to do when one is bored
• Play Board Games
• Draw Manga
• Go to Craft Store to Shop for Uranium Atom Project, a Model car, and a Manga Drawing Kit
• Go to Fresh Market to shop for Sunday Dinner Ingredients
• Go to World Market to shop for Sunday Dinner Ingredients
• Eat Sunday Dinner
• Design and produce one Uranium Atom Model.
• Write English Paper
• Catch up on Homework
• Help clean up after dinner

Tech Free Sunday # 7 Dinner Menu:

• Chicken Makani
• Dhal (Red Lentils)
• Basmati Rice
• Cucumber & Mint Raita
• Naan
• Puppodums
• Mango Chutney

I am exhausted! I’m not sure, but it might have to do with the fact that my 13 year old daughter’s ‘boyfriend’ called her and texted her about 6 times last night at 1:30 am (I texted back: “This is ‘M’s’ Mom, she is asleep. I’m glad to hear that you are the number one soccer player; we have tech rules at our house, please call our home phone # tomorrow between the hours of 10 am and 9 pm to find out what those rules are”.)  He texted back: ‘I’m very sorry’.  Ok so at least he was polite enough to apologize, but still…..  Grrrrrr. Helps to illustrate my point that parents need to unite and get a universal rule book for these gadgets so not one of them is able to text or call another at 1:30 am!

It seems that the kids are getting used to not having their constant connection, they seemed to entertain themselves fairly easily today and I honestly did not hear one single complain, except during the photo of them and their gadgets, one was not happy, but the others were fine.  It could have something to do with the weather change and Spring being in the air, but I do believe that they are enjoying the experience. This evening’s meal was not prepared by the family, which I did not enjoy as much, but they were outside playing and so it was a welcome exchange. On another very exciting note: there were no complaints about the meal, they all said that this was their favorite menu so far, with the exception of my youngest who is a vegetarian, she was not a fan of the Dhal (I think it was more the way it looked than how it tasted that bothered her). TFS#7 another success, no one died and so we will do it again next Sunday.

 

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” ~ Dr Seuss

“MOM, your breath smells like the garbage disposal!”

I woke up this morning thinking about this post and what to write. From there I started thinking of writers whom have inspired and influenced me, and suddenly, as if she were my own mother, I was mourning Erma Bombeck. So I ‘googled’ her and immediately started laughing out loud at her quotes. And I thought of a few of my own; as new husband brought me breakfast in bed I thought, “why is it that a man only tries to prove he’s ‘a keeper’, when he’s already in the dumpster?” ~ S. McK.

I DIGRESS…

“A child needs your love more when he deserves it least.” ~Erma Bombeck

And so my morning began I called each one of my children into my bedroom one by one, using their full name and that tone that indicates that they might be in trouble, not purposefully to torment them, but that is usually the only tone that gets their rapid attention. Remember being called by your mother and thinking oh shi! what did I do? Well I started with the youngest and she wouldn’t come close until I told her she wasn’t in trouble, but when she got close enough I pulled her on to my bed and hugged and kissed her repeatedly on her face and neck, and told her I loved her. She was so sweet and cuddly as she said, “MOM, your breath smells like the garbage disposal!”

‘Thank you E. I appreciate your honesty!’ I started laughing and thought, it probably does -I hadn’t brushed my teeth yet, so I got up, brushed the pearly whites and called in my son, he responded similarly initially, but when I hugged and kissed him and told him I loved him he responded in kind, then I asked him how my breath was, and he said, “minty”.  So we are making progress! It’s gonna be a great day, then I called in my older daughter and she already knew she was going to get lovins so that was anticlimactic… the house is busy with Saturday chores. I had to take a break from writing to nit pick, clean my room and then go over everything in the entire house with a fine tooth comb, literally! UGH

Anyway I started thinking and wondering what Erma would say if she were here today about the kids being absorbed by their gadgets and in my opinion, she’d probably appreciate the quiet, LOL. She did say something (I am paraphrasing here) about ‘the human mind being like a computer and only being able to store so much before it would blow up’. I’m sorry Erma, I’m afraid that one no longer applies, as the computers keep getting more and more gigs for memory storage, and I don’t know about you, but I can’t remember my kid’s names or dates of birth if the pharmacist asks me unexpectedly, and I only have 3 kids, of which there is a set of twins!  YIKES!!

I thought in honor of the late Mrs. Bombeck that maybe I would share a few of her other pearls with you:

• “Insanity is hereditary. You can catch it from your kids.”
• “I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: ‘Checkout Time is 18 years’.”
• “It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.”
• “My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.”
• “My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?”
• “Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.”
• “Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments.”
• “I’ve exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.”
• “My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first one being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.”
• “In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn’t danced in television.”
• “Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishes, sit in rooms they never clean, and are entertained till they drop? If you have just answered, “A house guest,” you’re wrong because I have just described my kids.”

I hope you enjoyed those as much as I did, and in closing I have to share with you a photo of a magnet I recently bought for myself – I COULD NOT live without it. Odd, my children don’t get the humor:

I think (but one never knows) we’re gonna make Indian food for TFS tomorrow. I’ll let you know how that turns out! 🙂

Use of the cellular device to keep us fit: training day 2 ‘couch to 5k’

My favorite Part: being done!

“Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.”

New Husband says that I should give you an update on our use of the tech device (known as the cellular telephone) to keep us fit via the  Couch to 25 k Application known by Droid users as the “C25K Pro”

Last night at dinner we discussed getting up and doing our training again this morning and one daughter said, “I’m not getting up”, the other one complained that she wanted to go too as did my 12 year old step son…. Well this morning sleeping beauty and her little step brother were ‘NO SHOWS’… they stayed in bed, lazy bums! (I wanted to stay in bed too…. but this was my bright idea!) So my little trouper, new hubby and I hit the road sans the rest of the ‘dwarves’.

My son and I (team: Piglet and Pooh) completed ‘day 2’ this morning and you can share in our success by viewing the Flickr photos if you wish. As you can see in the photos, my son is faster than his old mom, which I mentioned in an earlier post, but he does do a jog in place thing while he waits for me to catch up… sweet boy! After only 2 days of this ‘training’ I have come to love, and I mean LOVE the sound of the “diiiiiiing”, which can mean one of two things: 1. it’s time to start running or 2. it’s time to stop… I am in favor of the the latter, the stop running ‘ding’ is the one I soooooooo enjoy!

Team: Piglet & Pooh, the perfect pair.

My mom actually downloaded the app her iPod and is going to try it because I keep trying to sell it by saying ANYONE can run for 60 seconds in a row… well for some reason day 1 was a bit easier than day 2, but shhhhhh, because I do believe the couch potatoes would rather believe that there is no progression that happens to get you trained to run for the full 30 minutes in 9 weeks. It is my assumption that a real Couch Tater would rather believe that the entire thing happens by magical transformation or something, however if I’m being honest I believe it is designed to get a bit more challenging as the days progress. I also talked to a friend in  PA, one in AZ, and one in FL…. I am trying to get them all to do it with their families so we can GO GLOBAL!!! Wouldn’t that be fun?!

“Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless.”~Jamie Paolinetti

Not everything electronic is bad for you!

I’d like to expound a bit on my previous post which was really just a slightly edited version of my comment on Pogue’s Post regarding his 6 year olds addiction to the iPad, and the highly ambiguous question of the impact of electronic/tech devices in our lives and the lives of our children.

“Wisdom is not a product of schooling but of the lifelong attempt to acquire it”

~Albert Einstein

I definitely beleive that there are great digital, electronic and tech-devices on the market today that teach children and adults amazing things in formats that are often innovative. Last night for example after dinner my kids played “Just Dance 2” on the wii. It is hilarious to watch, multi-user, great family fun, entertaining AND it is a great workout! ( I particularly love to watch the boys get their ‘groove on’ -always good for a belly laugh, which is great for one’s health) Then of course there is the wii fit (my fav is yoga). So there are the brain-drain games, then there are a few that teach strategy, there are a few educational and the ones that are calorie burning. You choose which to purchase and which to allow your children to play and for how long.

This morning we used our cell phone (an electronic device) for Day 2 of “Couch to 5k”, certainly can’t argue the value of using your cell phone to train for a running race.

Let’s not forget the Xbox Kinect “Dance Central”,  for this you do not have to hold the remote as you do with the wii and it takes action shot photos of you while you play, which can pretty funny. We don’t have one of these, but our neighbor does and I think it is amazing!

The iPad has interactive books for children that allows the child to enter the story by picking clothing etc, then there is the “Drawing Pad” App for kids and if you want to get educational check out this website: 40 Amazingly educational iPad apps for kids

I can’t possibly list all of the valuable and innovative apps and games for every device out there, but there are many and they are great when they are used in moderation. (Like a healthy diet) My concern is always the amount of time spent on these devices, not necessarily because it is doing our children damage, but because we are missing out on a personal relationship with our kids if they are spending 12 hours per day on one device or another, and when the internet is involved (content is a major concern of mine) how much monitoring are parents actually doing even if the child is sitting at the kitchen table? So to reiterate; I am pro-tech in moderation because life can be pretty interesting in the physical world and there are so many lessons to be learned besides human interaction, manners, and verbal communication skills.

One additional note: my pediatrician always emphasizes the importance of chores for kids no matter what age, because they teach life skills that an iPad can’t, it also teaches them that they are an important member of a team (their family). A 3 year old can take a duster and do window sills,  or sweep a floor, or vacuum (all with supervision of course) and you may have to do it again later, but the importance of their participation in family life is great, and as they get older they can empty/load  the dishwasher, clean bathrooms, do laundry etc. I don’t pay an allowance, which some people do because it helps kids learn to manage their money, but I feel that as part of a family they need to pitch in and not expect cash for cleaning up after themselves, but rewarding them with 2 hours per day on their favorite device after their homework and chores are done is not a bad way to operate. (In my opinion of course) – I will add that my kids are old enough to earn money in other ways to buy things that they really want, but are not necessities, which it is my job to provide (including their entertainment expenses).

And finally (for real this time) I will mention “the love tank” this is not my invention, I read it somewhere, but I can’t recall where; so forgive me for not giving credit where credit is due, but I often ask my kids, “how is your love tank?” Is it full, empty, half -full? Which means, do you need a hug, or a chat or some private time with mom… and that doesn’t happen while texting, video chatting or playing video games etc!