Can you imagine if someone told you that you had to spend two hours a day reading without fail and if you choose to skip a day you will have to make it up the next day? I dream of a world where someone says to me, “Hey go to your room and read! You are supposed to read for two hours each day and since you didn’t read yesterday you have to read for four hours today.” Shhhh I think I hear angels singing, oh no that’s the damn dryer buzzer!
Trying to find things for an ‘xbox live’-addicted-teen to do on a beautiful summer day is a lot of work for me, not to mention annoying and frustrating. Why do kids think that reading is a punishment? I once heard myself say these words, “Anne Frank would have died for a new book to read.” I was annoyed by a whining teen; that is my pathetic excuse and only defense. I actually cringed inside as I said it, I did, and I thought just as the words left my mouth, ‘the only thing Anne Frank could do quietly was read, luckily for her parents she liked it, but she died anyway and it wasn’t for lack of a new book.’ I hate those moments in parenting when you hear yourself saying something ridiculous and wish that you could edit it, but alas it is a live performance and so you hope for an instant that they AREN’T listening to you lecture… Well you got your wish! Death-glare is looking you right in the face, the kid hasn’t heard a word you’re saying because they are silently repeating the words, ‘I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.’
When was the last time you were bored? Seriously, I have too much to do, therefore I resent the bored teen and boredom in general. There are not enough hours in the day for me to accomplish everything I have on my “TO DO” list and so my blood begins to stew a bit when I’m cooking dinner and thinking, ‘if I can just get this done I can fold that load of laundry.’ Meanwhile there’s a sulking teen sitting at the kitchen table, sullenly announcing to no one that he is bored! That’s right after sleeping until noon, showering, eating, (PB&J sandwich, milk and peanut butter cups; I know because you left a glob of jelly on the counter along with dirty plate, empty glass and candy wrappers on the floor) reading for four hours and playing xbox for ONLY two hours he is now bored. So I pour myself a drink, grab a pen and add ‘find things for this annoying kid to do’ to my own “TO DO” list.
“Life is about experiences,” I hear myself say through clenched teeth. “Go experience something!!!” I explain the art of conversation again and wonder how this kid will be able to carry on a conversation with another human being. What will they talk about? Taking the elevator to level 5 while invisible? The kid will only be able to talk to people who play xbox, because they will be the only ones who understand what the hell it means to get to level 5 via the elevator while being invisible. The rest of us will just think that another human life is being wasted in front of the television. What will evolution do with these kids? I imagine a fatty head with no ears, just hands in their place with oversized thumbs. -Played by Mike Myers in the film version of this tale.
I’ll leave you with one more thing. WHY does the kid say, “I don’t understand why I am only allowed two hours on electronics per day!?” I wanna say, “you’re right kid, that is entirely too much damn time doing nothing, let’s cut it back to 30 minutes and add another hour and a half to your reading schedule. And as an added bonus: how about I teach you to fold laundry properly for as long as it takes you to understand that rolling it up in a ball and sticking it in a heap is not the same as folding it and stacking it in a pile.” Grrrrr and smile!
The Tech-Free Sunday: A social experiment 